If the Wire Cast Was a Football Team

The Baltimore Ravens look pretty formidable going into the AFC Championship game, but I wonder if this squad from Charm City could give them a run for their money. The offense looks a bit sketchy, but the defensive unit is stacked with stone-cold killers. You wouldn’t want to be a receiver going over the middle against that secondary, that’s for sure.

Front Office
Owner: Odell Watkins
GM: Tommy Carcetti
Head Coach: Cedric Daniels
Offensive Coordinator: Lester Freamon
Defensive Coordinator: Bill Rawls

Offensive Unit
QB: Gus Haynes
RB: Jimmy McNulty
FB: Thomas Hauk
C: Jay Landsman
RG: Bunk Moreland
RT: Bunny Colvin
LG: Ervin Burrell
LT: Butchie
TE: Kenneth Dozerman
WR: Leander Sydnor
WR: Ellis Carver
Alternate WR: Kima Greggs


Defensive Unit
DT: Stringer Bell
DT: Prop Joe Stewart
DT: Frank Sabotka
OLB: Cutty Wise
OLB: Chris Partlow
MLB: Wee-Bey Brice
MLB: Cheese Wagstaff
S: Avon Barksdale
S: Marlo Stanfield
DB: Slim Charles
DB: Bodie Broadus
Nickel DB: Snoop Pearson

Special Teams
Return specialist: Omar Little
Punter: Clarence Royce
Kicker: Ziggy Sabotka

Supporting staff
Equipment manager: Bubbles
Medical supplies: The Greek
Cheer squad: Beadie Russell, Rhonda Pearlman
Fan club president: Roland Pryzbylewski
Player agents: Maurice Levy, Clay Davis

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6 Responses to “If the Wire Cast Was a Football Team”


  1. 1 superdingo

    I’d move Dozerman to the D-line. You need his unbottled rage going after the QB. Would sign on Brother Mouzone to coach Special Teams.

  2. 2 mark

    For some reason i thought the cops should be on O, the street on D. But I think Mouzone for special teams coach works.

  3. 3 lsc21

    Yeah, create the role of Team President and move Carcetti into it. Move Daniels to GM. Move Freemon to head coach. And make Brother Mouzone defensive coordinator. Gotta fit Mouzone in there somewhere. Cheese is too soft to be MLB. Replace him with Sergei. That’d be a killer D.

    I would move Greggs to WR, move Sydnor to RB and McNulty to QB. Might as well add Michael Lee as alt return specialist.

  4. 4 lsc21

    Oh, and make Gus referee!

  1. 1 The Wire as an American Football team. B … « Paul M. Watson
  2. 2 URNMONEY: pounds of penance
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